@juanse, I hear you. This is just the way almost everyone new to Rails feels.
author of Efficient Rails DevOps here — first post, hello everyone!
While my book is making me good money, I have always felt that Rails life would be better if we did not need it.
Personally, I host my applications on a VPS because I like to have everything under control (being Linux engineer for almost 15 years certainly helps with that) but I admit that even though the process outlined in my book works like a charm once set up, it took a tremendous amount of research, trial & error and time to get all that knowledge together (and lots of developers simply have no interest in doing operations). It’s getting worse with every major Rails release (I just finished to update my process to serve Rails 6 with Ruby 2.7 yesterday).
Operations — deployment is particular — has always been a little neglected in the Rails world which is a shame because serving Ruby applications reliably in production obviously takes more than just FTPing a bunch of files.
With recent additions (like ActiveJob) establishing a common default for basic tasks, I think it would be great if developers would be a little less on their own when trying to deploy their apps. This would neither hurt Heroku, Hatchbox.io and friends nor those who want to build their infrastructure from the ground up.
I have been trying out a few things in the last months but there is nothing to show yet. There are just too many moving parts for a one-size-fits-all approach (different databases, different application servers, VPS, containers, …).
I think most newcomers would be happy to find at least some hints in the Rails Guides.