A few years back I used AASM. More recently, I just build state
functionally by hand on an as needed basis. So I check out
rubygems.org and low-and-behold there are many offerings.
I'm not sure if we can say that there are any standards at all.
You should just check what fits for your needs best: transitions
declaration, callbacks, state checking interfaces etc.
Last time I was implementing state machine I chose AASM after trying
several other also just cos it fit to my needs best.
Just try to test at least a couple of gems it doesn't actually take a
lot of time, but you'll make your own opinion.