has_and_belongs_to_many relationship in nested forms - follow up

(sorry if it appears twice, it's a repost - didn't go through the
first time)

Hi guys,

I have seen several older posts on this subject, but none with a real
answer... Now that 2.3 is a few months old, does someone know what the
status is for nested forms and habtm relationship?

It seems the two blocking points are:

1) Deleting the association instead of destroying a record.

In the alloy-complex-form-example (my understanding is it is the
"official" example), we have:

class Project < ActiveRecord::Base
has_and_belongs_to_many :tags

If you edit a "Project" and "remove" a specific "Tag", it destroys the
Tag record itself instead of only the link in the join table. It is
not the right behaviour, is it?

2) Creating an association instead of a record.

With the same example, there doesn't seem to be a way to associate an
existing Tag to a Project (it always creates a new Tag, or does
nothing if you pass the id).

Thanks for your help!